I’ve been to Ghetto Golf Birmingham a couple of times now, and it’s absolutely one of those places I’d recommend to visitors. After all, who doesn’t love loud hip-hop, cleverly named cocktails served to you on the fairway (such as it is) and holes themed around Blockbuster video, Brum’s oldest pub and a sex shop? And previously I would have directed these visitors to that wonderful street food place around the corner that I have gushed about on more than one occasion. But do you know that tucked away in a corner of this neon, graffitied venue is an American-style BBQ joint, wittily called Apocalypse Cow?
**DISCLAIMER: Mr Fletche and I were invited to review Apocalypse Cow. We received complimentary food in exchange for an honest review. We paid for our own drinks, and also tipped the staff**
The Apocalypse Cow menu is designed to soak up the alcohol which usually goes hand in hand with a visit to Ghetto Golf. There’s a selection of eight burgers, which includes two vegetarian options. Nachos. Loaded fries. And a selection of “Twisted Tapas” for sharing. Or not.
In the interest of sampling across the menu we choose one from the left, one from the middle and two from the right. Like a game of BBQ Food Countdown. You can’t fault the speed of service; I’d barely returned to the table with my pager before it buzzes to tell me our food is ready.
I opt for the Mother Clucker burger. Fried chicken goujons on a bed of cheese, bacon, pickles, BBQ sauce and ranch dressing. It doesn’t stand the “eating with hands” test – I resort to reconstructing my burger off the table with a knife and fork. The chicken is moist and tasty and probably doesn’t need to be slathered with all the accompaniments. Mr Fletche tests out the veggie option with the Halloumi Burger (no clever name for this one) with smoked halloumi, lettuce, peppers and onions topped with chimichurri sauce. He’s a “knife and fork from the off” kinda guy so there’s no mishaps here. It gets the thumbs up. All burger buns are available as vegan or gluten free, as well as the standard brioche.
I’m tempted by the jumbo smoked chicken wings or the boneless chicken tenders but Mr Fletche reminds me that this would be a very chicken-heavy meal for me. So instead we have the brisket nuggets with cherry bourbon BBQ sauce. We get four breaded nuggets, and I find one enough for me as they are a little stodgy with more potato than brisket. The sauce is good though. Finally, we have a portion of Kamikaze fries, topped with Korean pork, chilli, onion, peppers, char sui sauce, srircaha mayo and spring onion. These are decent but as with the burger, maybe less is more as the two sauces seem to leave a competing rather than complimentary taste in the mouth.
The tapas dishes, fries and nachos are all less than £7 each and are designed for sharing which makes this a pretty good value option. Burgers are £8-£9 each, which feels a little pricey compared to others you can get elsewhere. But if you’re stopping by for a game of golf and a lurid cocktail then it’s a perfect fast food choice. Plus you get to chow down overlooking the sex shop “hole”. You don’t get that at an Arnold Palmer mini golf.