You join me on Day 6 of Social Distancing. This is our brand new world. A world in which Mr Fletche and I are now the full extent of our social community. There have been some famous diarists of our time. Samuel Pepys. Anne Frank. Bridget Jones. So I feel it is my responsibility to accurately record what it’s like living in the time of COVID-19. (And yes, I know I said I was taking a hiatus. But Mr Fletche will only listen to me rambling on for so long).
Our official offices became no-go areas so Mr Fletche and I now spread ourselves between the dining table, sofa and conservatory. In a last-ditch attempt to help some of our favourite Brum independents we picked up £50 worth of takeaway beer from Purecraft and 1000 Trades. We practiced social distancing in the latter, until a group of four decided to sit at the table wedged up against ours. Rather than, say, any of the other empty tables in the entire bar.
We plotted a route between our local farm shops. This is a perk of living out in the sticks. Yes, it’s £4.50 for a jar of jam, but desperate times call for ridiculously overpriced jam. And we undertook a meticulously planned, responsible Mothering Sunday visit to Ma Lee. She was surprised but happy to find a llama* on the doorstep, but wondered how the hell it had rung the bell. And we started a Sunday Scrabble League. 3-0 to me so far.
(*Not a real llama. No llamas were harmed in the making of this Mother’s Day gift)
We now have a new TV. And a new vacuum. And a second controller for the PS4 (until I can get my hands on a Nintendo Switch and Animal Crossing. I don’t even know what Animal Crossing is but everyone seems to have it and I have FOMO). The Amazon man leaves our goods on the doorstep and waves to us from an acceptable distance.
(If anyone else is on an online purchasing spree, may I suggest using my Amazon affiliate link? I get a small commission, no extra cost to you, and it may contribute towards my future addiction to Animal Crossing.)
Mr Fletche and I apply a two-pronged approach to supply-gathering. One list, two supermarkets. We now have copious amounts of celery and olives. And enough bread to open a small bakery. Eggs, tinned tomatoes and gravy are still in short supply. I didn’t venture down the toilet roll aisle.
Customers in Morrisons appear to be practicing social distancing reasonably well. There is a polite dance as we all strive to remain at least 2 metres away from each other. When we do pass, we do so quickly and we hold our breath. The cashier is surprisingly cheerful. No one has tried to throw a tin of beans at her head today. Which is always the sign of a successful shift.
Mr Fletche bought toilet roll. A pack of 9 would you believe. I can comfortably increase my usage to two sheets at a time. I win the shopping basket challenge though by coming back with Mini Eggs. This is in lieu of real eggs. Mr Fletche wonders how he is meant to scramble them.
Of course, we also did some work. Which our respective bosses will be very pleased about. I have a new work laptop being posted out to me. Which means I will have three work laptops. We may need a bigger dining table.
So, Day 6 of Social Distancing is done. I fear this may be our most exciting day for a while. How was your day? Are you now home-schooling? What treasures have you found in your supermarket today? And if you are a key worker – I love you.