It’s 5am. Not only is it still dark outside but even the birds are still slumbering. The only people stirring are milkmen and binmen. Oh, and photographers.
“I’m just popping out for sunrise. And if there’s no sunrise, there might be frost. Or fog.”
Yes, the life of a photographer. Or more to the point, how about the life of a wife of a photographer? Here are 10 things you will recognise if you are married to a photographer…
- Unless you are married to a portrait photographer, you will never ever appear in your partner’s photographs. Occasionally you might be a silhouette in the distance, or maybe a perfectly manicured hand holding a beautifully formed leaf. But never the focus.
- But occasionally if your partner does ever take your photograph, this will remain at the bottom of a long list of “to-be-edited” photographs. He won’t say that there is no airbrushing or editing tool powerful enough, but it will be implied.
- There is no such thing as “just a snap”. Every photo taken is judged on its artistic merit, and discarded if it doesn’t make the grade.
- You will spend hours listening to him critique other photographers work
- Clouds and light can be a photographer’s best friend or biggest enemy. You will hear endless rants about clouds being “in the wrong place” or it being “the wrong kind of light”
- You will become good at meals you can chuck in the slow cooker and leave to warm; that way your partner can still eat after a half hour ramble after work becomes a full on six hour photo session.
- You will regularly sit on random camera cleaning equipment strewn around the house
- When you do venture out with your partner, you will discover that photographers have an uncanny knack of being able to stand in one place for a seemingly endless amount of time. They will be waiting for the right clouds. Or the right light (see No.5)
- Your partner will lovingly stroke and caress his camera with a hitherto unseen tenderness and delicacy
- Random parcels will be delivered to your house. Your partner will excitedly unbox them, only to reveal a filter. Or SD cards. Or another bloody piece of camera cleaning equipment which you will sit on
Of course, there are also positives. Such as:
- You also start to recognise the “right light” and the “right clouds”.
- If you want some me-time to have a bath/blog/binge-watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on Netflix, then you sound terribly supportive when you say “why don’t you go and take your camera out for a while?”
- And if you do want to explore the outside world, then you’ll always have a willing partner to join you. And you can always factor in a pub visit at the end.
- Your own photography will also improve. You don’t have to have fancy equipment, but it’s great to have someone to show you what you’re doing wrong when all your pictures are fuzzy.
- The sheer excitement, joy and pride that you feel when one of your partner’s pictures is displayed somewhere; or when someone asks who the talented photographer is; or when an online image is shared and commented on by complete strangers. And, that’s what makes all of the above worth being a photographer’s wife.
Do you share a household with someone with a passion for photography? Or do they have another hobby which sometimes drives you a bit crazy? Let me know in the comments!