An open letter to Tenerife* Restaurant Managers

Dear Tenerife* Restaurant Owners and Managers,

(*Insert other resort here where applicable)

I would like to take this opportunity to chat to you about your “greeters” or “PRs” or “Front of House Staff” or whatever term you use. Personally, I call them nuisances. And this is the polite term.  I would like to make some suggestions on how NOT to lure me into your restaurant

Do not:

• Chase me down the road
• Lay your hands on me
• Bully me or harass me, or insult me in your language. I know from the tone if not the actual words.
• Continue talking after I’ve politely said “no thanks”
• Tell me that I won’t be disappointed. You are setting me up to be disappointed.
• Promise me free stuff. Let the free stuff be a surprise
• Tell me that you offer the best Mexican food in Tenerife whilst wearing a sombrero and waving around a stuffed donkey. I immediately do not trust you
• Tell me that you offer the best anything in Tenerife. Let me be the judge of that.
• Have pictures of your food outside
• Have a large blackboard offering a full English breakfast or Sunday roast. I am in Tenerife. Give me tapas, paella and fresh seafood
• Be McDonald’s or Burger King or Subway

Do:

• Treat me like an adult who can read a menu and make my own decision about where and what i eat. Simple.

 
Yours, most respectfully
Mrs A Brummie Home and Abroad