How To Create That Christmas Market Vibe In Your Own Home

At this time of year I’d usually be heading out to enjoy the Christmas markets. I absolutely love them. The rich heady smells of cinnamon and vanilla, the twinkling lights, little wooden huts stretching as far as the eye can see. Some Christmas markets are admittedly better than others, and Brummies have a love/hate relationship with the Frankfurt Market that sprawls through the city centre from early November onwards. But not this year. There’s a big gap in the Christmas Market Diary. At the start of the year we envisioned a wedding anniversary trip to the Baltic States, checking out the festivities in Tallin, Riga and Vilnius. When the coronacoaster struck we adjusted our plans, booking a swanky hotel in the capital and planning to visit our favourite London markets. But now? Christmas markets are another casualty of 2020. Which got me thinking. What if I could get the Christmas market vibe, right here in my own home?

The Sights of the Christmas Market

Lets’s start with the basics. To recreate that true Christmas market vibe then you’re going to need the biggest, most ostentatious Christmas Tree you can find. No, it’s probably not going to fit into your lounge but worry about that later. This will be your centrepiece. Your piece de resistance. Your decorations can then go one of two ways. Tasteful wooden decorations, which look they have been hand carved by elves in a Nordic cabin. Or all-out tacky, glittery and multi-colored. It’s your market, it’s your choice. But make sure there is at least one wooden nutcracker soldier protecting your house from evil spirits. Or preferably a whole army of them.

You might imagine a light dusting of snow at your Christmas market. Delicate flakes falling lightly as your bemittened hands clutch a mug of something steaming. Cotton wool balls falling from the ceiling will give a similar effect. Or flour sprinkled over every surface. But remember the Great Flour Shortage of Lockdown #1 and be responsible with your flour use. You’ll probably want to hoover it up and use if for making mince pies afterwards.

The Smells of the Christmas Market

Ah, the smells of a Christmas market. Freshly-baked gingerbread. Pastries studded with cinnamon. Rich chocolate. Sizzling onions and fat sausages gently hissing. A drunken man who has spent far too long drinking from two-pint glasses and now has beer BO.

Gingerbread house kits are all over the place this time of year, but if your Christmas market at home is a bit more spontaneous then crack open a pack of ginger biscuits. Raid the spice rack for cinnamon and cloves. Or find a scented candle that will have all your favourite festive scents. As for the drunken man with beer BO? Well, it’s your Christmas Market so you can decide on the guest list.

The Sounds of the Christmas Market

Christmas Markets are often noisy and raucous places so make sure you shout loudly at your fellow guests. Or be prepared to make the time-honoured hand gestures which mean “another beer?”, “your round?” or “our train leaves in five minutes so drink up or you’ll be forced to sleep in a doorway. Again.”

One of the things that renders normal-volume conversation almost impossible is the “background” music. At some Christmas Markets this may come from a local DJ, cracking jokes and hosting party games in between their festive hit-list. And at others, the musical accompaniment may come from a brass band. Who only know five songs but will play them relentlessly on loop. So break out your tissue and comb and treat your fellow guests to a homemade harmonica version of Silent Night.

Your festive playlist will of course be key in creating a Christmas Market vibe at home. There must be Slade. And Wizzard. Shakin’ Stevens. Band Aid (all the versions, even the dodgy Stock Aitken and Waterman version from 1989). A smattering of nostalgia from Bing Crosby, Johnny Mathis and Nat King Cole. A sprinkling of carols so that everyone can enjoy singing their own version of “We Three Kings”. And of course, remember that your neighbours will LOVE to hear your rendition of All I Want For Christmas Is You. Especially THAT note near the end.

Or if you want to bring a touch of Mexico to your Christmas Market, how about this Mariachi Christmas playlist?

The Tastes of the Christmas Market

Lets face it, Christmas markets are ALL about the food and drink. So chuck some red wine in the slow cooker, throw in some oranges and a cinnamon stick, et voila – mulled wine. In fact, you can mull pretty much anything. Hot Aperol was my top discovery in Vienna. Or boozy hot chocolate with as much whipped cream and chocolate on top as you can fit in a mug.

Craving a currywurst? Try hot dog sausages smothered in chip shop style curry sauce. Keen on a kartoffelpuffer? Fry up some potato, onion and garlic and make them into pancakes. Wild about waffles? Set up a station in your kitchen with all your favourite toppings. Don’t try and put them on your Birdseye Potato Waffles though.

Food and drink at Christmas Markets can be expensive. Don’t forget to leave a £10 deposit for your mug in the kitchen cupboard. Of course, if you forget to return your mug to the cupboard then you won’t get your money back. But at least you’ll have a mug.

The Touch of the Christmas Market

A Christmas Market wouldn’t be a Christmas market without being so cold that you can’t feel the end of your nose. So make sure you turn off all your heating, open all the windows and doors, and wear every item of outdoor clothing that you own. Fingerless gloves are perfect so you can still eat and work your mobile phone for those festive selfies.

For that true experience, stand still and get the other members of your household to jostle you. Especially when you have a full mug of gluhwein. Added bonus points for someone ramming a pushchair into your ankles. Or poking you in the ear with a roll of wrapping paper because they’ve popped in “for a quick one” on the way home from Christmas shopping.

So Christmas Markets in 2020 won’t be quite the same. But at least there’s no closing-time rush to get home. No long queues at the bar. (Hopefully) clean toilets with toilet roll and soap. And no face masks required. Although there are plenty available for that proper authentic 2020 theme. Let me know if you plan on recreating that Christmas Market vibe at home!