Mom or Mum? A Mothers Day debate
The Brummie dialect is an interesting one. We call it an “island” not a roundabout. It’s an outdoor, not an off-licence. And don’t get me started on the “cob” debate. (If it’s crusty, it’s a cob. End of)
But the one that really gives me a headache is Mom vs Mum. Almost universally in the UK, the woman who is your mother is Mum. With a “U”. And go into any high-street card shop and at this time of year you will find rows and rows of Mothers Day cards, some tasteful, some garish, some humorous and some downright icky. And 99% will have the greeting of Mum/Mummy. Occasionally there will be a “Mam”. But nowhere can I find a card with “Mom” on. Which leaves me defacing Clinton Card’s finest (not in the shop obviously as that could lead to an unwanted criminal record).
Yes, (most) Brummies share this maternal moniker with the Americans. I opened up this question on my Facebook page recently and it got everyone talking. In a highly scientific poll (knocked up on an Excel spreadsheet comparing comments and stalking Facebook pages to find out where people were from) 46 people responded, 32 were from Birmingham, the Black Country and the surrounding areas, and a whopping 87.5% agree with me that’s it’s Mom. Out of the 14 non-local respondees, 50% opted for Mum, 36% for Mom and 14% (yep, that’s perfect maths there…) for “something else”. That must be where those “Mams” come in. One wise commenter came up with the following response which I just loved:
“For me it’s Mom – using the Mo from Mother. Therefore a Mommy not a Mummy. I always like to link my Mom to a Mother rather than a body that has been ceremonially preserved by removal of the internal organs etc.”
I googled Moms v Mums and came up with a very heated debate on MumsNet. Because of course, they are MUMsNet and not MOMsNet, it’s not hard to see which side they come down on. (I NEVER want to be involved in a debate on MumsNet. Those people are vicious).
Birmingham MP Jess Phillips even challenged Parliament because when her speeches in the House of Commons are transcribed, they are transcribed as “Mum” and she feels that this is a way of trying to “sanitise my regional accent”. I’m guessing that Parliament has bigger things on their plate at the moment than to discuss the localised variations of how we speak about our mothers but the point that Ms Phillips is making is that Brummies are proud of their accents and dialects, and this shouldn’t be changed to suit a more “British English” preference for Mum.
So on this Mother’s Day, I will hand over a card to Ma Lee (yes, I appreciate the irony that she is known as Ma in A Brummie Home and Abroad land) with the highly impersonal “Happy Mothering Sunday” on the front. And for her birthday in April, a defaced card filling in that ever-present gap at the top of the “U”.
**Update** I have now (on the Saturday before Mothers Day) discovered that Paperchase are selling Mothers Day cards with “Mom” on them. Well played, Paperchase, I will stock up for 2019 and beyond…
Now… do I throw in my spanner? I’m born and bred Brummie too but it’s always been Mummy or Mum for me!!!!!
I know this article is from ages ago but…. to save you defacing Clintons cards in future, you might like to know that this website now exists to solve exactly this problem 🙂
https://momcards.co.uk/
Amazing! Thank you for pointing me in the right direction 😊
I literally had no idea that you Brummies said Mom. I thought it was either Mum or Mam across the U.K. You learn something new every day!
I don’t think even we realised it was a thing until recently 😁
It’s Mum down in NZ! Lovely post and don’t you look a younger version of your Mom 🙂
Away thanks Suzanne, I won’t complain if i look that way in my 60s 😁
Too true 🙂
So true about the Mumsnet forums. I steer clear of most forums for this reason.
Oh and I prefer mom. My blog’s name is Diary of a Doting Mom. So you know which side I fall on 🙂
Yes! You definitely fall into the mom camp! 😁
I love you even more now! As an American with a Scottish child, I answer to both. And it’s a traffic island when I’m feeling nostalgic.
😊 Thanks Lorna x
It’s mam for me but I’m Northern! Until fairly recently you could only buy mum or Mother’s Day cards so I feel your frustration. I never say mum or mother so this always used to cheese me right off. We now have some specialist Geordie card makers and there’s always sites like Moonpig where you can personalise cards. Also big retailers are now doing the odd Mam card which is better! Regional dialects and those quirky differences are part of what makes us great and should be celebrated. Ps I did know that you guys said mom as I had a couple of brummie uni friends!
I’m definitely going to look into local card retailers for next year, I even have friends who make handmade cards so I think I’ll be doing that next year to stop me from throwing a tantrum on the high street (which inspired this post so it’s not all bad 😜)
Yeah I’m sure you’ll be able to support a lovely local business and keep a cool head – win win!!
Black Country girl, so another vote for Mom here
Mom for the win! (From this Canadian…) I always connected Mum with mummy and could not figure out for the life of me why you would want to compare your mom with a centuries old dead body haha
I knew I was a Canadian at heart 🇨🇦😆
At the start of the transition years between Mummy and Mum, my sisters and I agreed we didn’t like Mum so we started calling her Ma’am (as in calm) and it stuck. It sounds very formal to people who don’t know us, but I think she enjoys the matriarch persona!
I never knew that anyone in England said anything different than mum or mummy. As an American, it’s mom. That’s what I’ve always said, until recently when I found out that my mom actually prefers to be called Mother. So that is what I now call her.
Us Brummies like to be different Jennifer!
Well, happy moms day! 😉
It’s mom-I’m obviously American 🤣